


Scream Your Head Off

by SirenBanshee



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Ghosts, Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Banshee Rey (Star Wars), Banshees, Character Turned Into a Ghost, Crack, Curse Breaking, Curses, Cute, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Experimentation, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Folklore, Force Dyad (Star Wars), Fun, Ghosts, Hate to Love, Headless Horseman Kylo Ren, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Love/Hate, Magic, Minor Character Death, Minor Violence, Mutual Pining, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Ben Solo, POV Kylo Ren, POV Rey (Star Wars), Pining, Rey Needs A Hug (Star Wars), Reylo - Freeform, Sexual Tension, Silly, Sleepy Hollow - Freeform, Sleepy Hollow AU, Soulmates, Spells & Enchantments, Star Wars References, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Virgin Ben Solo, Virgin Kylo Ren, Virgin Rey (Star Wars), headless horseman - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-26
Packaged: 2021-03-27 12:14:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30122592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SirenBanshee/pseuds/SirenBanshee
Summary: The job of a banshee isn’t pleasant; just ask Rey. An afterlife of screaming, crying, and mourning strangers is so annoying. And Kylo Ren, hot-headed headless horseman, just keeps adding to her work load by whacking people’s heads off during full moons.The nerve!Well, it’s high time he got a head so she can be free of his crap once and for all.If only she can stop thinking about ridinghimas well as he rides his horse.OR a crack,Sleepy Hollow-ish, fairytale-ish Reylo AU that not one single soul in the history of the globe has ever asked for.
Relationships: Kylo Ren & Rey, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 35
Kudos: 59





	1. Annoying Curses

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, everybody! I’ve wanted, for a long time, to write a Reylo story with a banshee 😱, and a Reylo story with the Headless Horseman 💀🐎. So I just combined the two ideas, and also made it crack because why not? And did you see what I did with the title— _Scream_ (banshee) _Your Head Off_ (headless horseman)—wink, wink; nudge, nudge. 😜😜
> 
> Be warned: I’ve taken major, _major_ liberties with banshee mythology and the Headless Horseman legend; so if you’re here to learn fun facts about either of them, or for a mythically canon portrayal of them, _RUN . . . RUN FOR THY LIFE!!_
> 
> Shoutout to my rock Noppoh, who's always there for me through all my craziness; and thank you to my Discord sprint sisters for saving my life with all those sprints and encouragement! 😽

Rey gripped her shiny blue comb almost enough to snap it. It was almost _that_ time of the month again! That bloody time that made her cranky and made her groan in agony and want to kill someone.

The full moon. The night that headless piece of Bantha fodder was out for blood.

Not that it happened _every_ month, but it happened often enough to make Rey want to _scream_! Kriff, that was a bad pun. Uh . . . _smash something_!

Kylo would undoubtedly argue, “It’s not my fault; they’re the idiots looking for trouble.” And, to be fair, that was kind of true. As was the fact that he’d been 'cursed' or whatever. But come on! She had enough to do without having that inconsiderate specter add to her work load.

The life—or afterlife, whatever phrasing you wanted to use—of a banshee wasn’t exactly rainbows and sunshine. Nope! Having to scream at the top of your overworked lungs to mourn the future death of someone you neither knew nor gave a hoot about wasn’t anyone’s idea of fun. Old people, sick people, idiots who got themselves into crappy situations, yadda yadda—they all caused the same thing for Rey: keening like a maniac, scaring the crap out of anyone around who was unlucky enough to have ears.

She sighed and continued to comb her long chestnut hair. The full moon was only a couple of nights away. If some dolt was doomed to end up with an uninhabited neck, Rey would end up letting out a wail at any moment. Maybe if she just concentrated really, really hard on her superior hair-combing skills, she could resist her body’s really irritating curse.

She snorted. _Yeah, right._

Sure enough, after about thirty minutes of obsessive hair grooming, Rey suddenly felt an overwhelming force hit her right in the chest, causing her to let out a piercing howl of horror. Everything in the forest went deathly silent, making Rey’s scream sound as loud and obnoxious as possible. It lasted for several long seconds, with Rey’s head thrown back, her hands over her ears, and tears streaming down her cheeks.

When it ended, she took a couple of deep breaths and braced herself. That had been _one_ scream. Would it end there, or would—

Confound it! Yet another shriek was suddenly ripped from her lungs. Apparently, not one but _two_ people would be dying during the full moon. Unless there were more. _Please don’t let there be more!_

When Rey’s mouth finally shut and she was content everything was now A-okay, she sighed in relief, then stomped her foot like a two-year-old.

“That does it!” she shouted. “I’m going to _kill_ that dead monster if it’s the last thing I do!”

She was so sick of his bull. We get it: You lost your pretty head centuries ago and it was a big bummer. Boo hoo, cry me a river. At least, in his headless state, he didn’t suffer from constant sore throats or have to listen to his own ear-splitting wails all the time. If he wanted a head so badly, she’d happily give him her own head, let _him_ deal with all the screaming. But both of them were spirits, so she couldn’t, darn it!

It figured the bane of her existence would have all the luck. He got to carry around an awesome cross-guard fire sword to scare the pants off people and make their heads go bye-bye; Rey had a boring, silvery-blue comb to brush her hair that was always getting tangled. Not to mention Kylo’s fearsome stallion Niney. The horse was massive and had eyes as red as Kylo’s saber and a coat as black as sin. Rey didn’t even have a pigeon.

In short, _Rey_ was the only one who had a right to be upset all the time! But Rey had to wonder if his anger issues were being intensified by the black getup he was always wearing. A thick black cape, black bindings, black shirt, black pants, black boots—lots and lots of black. If you were going to steal fashion ideas from the Grim Reaper, it was bound to affect your mood.

If only all that death black didn’t look so karking _good_ on him—the way his shirt, coat, and bindings clung to his enormous chest; the way his trousers molded to his long, toned legs; the way his cape draped over his broad, defined shoulders.

Not that _Rey_ had ever noticed, of course! It wasn’t as if she’d ever checked out the way his thighs straddled his horse, or gotten shivers from the way his arms masterfully handled his fiery sword, or wondered if there was an eight-packed hidden underneath that shirt. But _some_ people were into that sort of thing.

It was a shame, really. Back when he was alive, he must have been one heck of a lady killer (pun very much intended). But one day you get your head cut off in the middle of a battle and _BOOM_ : suddenly you’re stuck for the rest of time throwing murderous temper tantrums.

Well, enough was enough! It was time someone straightened that nerfherder out. Would it do any good? Probably not. Would it make her feel better to give him a piece of her mind for all the extra work he was causing her? You betcha!

If he’d just stop killing people, she wouldn’t have nearly the workload. Most deaths in Sleepy Takodana were caused by illnesses and old age. Because of this, Rey, on average, used to scream only a few times in a year. The locals weren’t stupid enough to venture into Takodana Forest on full moon nights.

Then a road was cut through the forest as a shortcut to Coruscant Village, and suddenly Kylo had more business. Some victims were travelers using the road, and some were morons who’d heard the legends of the Headless Horseman and wanted to prove them wrong.

SPOILER ALERT: It never worked!

Rey wondered who Kylo’s next two victims would be. She’d find out in a couple of nights, when she confronted the menace. Until then, she simply had to wait and see if anyone else was due to kick the bucket anytime soon.

😱💀

_Here we go again,_ Kylo thought. He didn’t _enjoy_ killing people, but he didn’t feel quite as badly about it when his victims were basically asking for it. A lone man was currently riding through the forest, during a full moon, whistling and looking so nervous Kylo was surprised the man hadn’t fainted and fallen off his horse yet.

And how could a headless phantom _see_ his next would-be victim, one might ask? Well, Kylo had learned long ago to just go with it; when did curses _ever_ make sense?

Currently, he was sitting atop his trusty black beast Niney, waiting for the perfect moment to strike, when out of nowhere suddenly came _another_ horse. Its rider was dressed like a cartoon version of Kylo, complete with missing head. Kylo watched as the Horseman-wannabe charged after the first rider, who looked as if he was about to wet himself as he flew away as quickly as his horse could run.

Clearly, the two were rivals. Kylo considered going ahead and taking out both of them; but the show before him was oddly entertaining, so he waited. After a few minutes, fake-Kylo stabbed the other rider, who dropped lifelessly to the ground. Then fake-Kylo shook with laughter and popped his hidden head up out of his costume.

_Show time!_

Kylo and Niney emerged from the shadows with a steady trot, causing the ginger to turn at the sound of Niney’s hooves. At the sight of real-Kylo, fake-Kylo’s pale face went even paler. 

The ginger irritant started to stutter all over himself. “You . . . you’re _real_?”

Kylo, having no head, obviously said nothing as he and Niney stood still, the full moon serving as a wickedly bad-to-the-bone backdrop behind them. Naturally, Kylo could sense _unease_ about his appearance coming from the man.

“I . . . I didn’t mean anything by any of it, I swear!” he continued, sweating and gesturing toward his costume. “Schoolmaster Mitaka—he just moved into town and has been trying to steal the woman I love. I just wanted to snuff out the skum, once and for all! I didn’t realize you were . . . .”

Kylo removed his fire sword from his belt and ignited it, its red awesomeness blazing in the night. The ginger gulped and finally propelled his horse into action, hightailing it away. If the dummy thought he could escape the wrath of the Headless Horseman, he was nuts.

But he’d thought Kylo was a myth, so what more could you expect?

Kylo gave chase. It was time to try another head. Boy, did he hope this one didn’t fit! The how-can-it-be-natural orange hair, the pasty skin, the weasel-like countenance—Kylo would look _ridiculous_ with this head. But he had been cursed to keep eighty-sixing people’s heads until he found either his own or one that fit, so he had no choice but to try it on for size.

He chased the other man through the trees, shadows dancing all over the place. The doofus kept making weird turns, trying to throw off Kylo (as if he and his ghostly steed hadn’t been haunting this forest for a long farking time.) The orangish-brown horse the man was riding was a fast one— _and what horse wasn’t, when being chased by the Headless Horseman?_ —but no matter how many dodges or turns it made, it couldn’t shake Niney.

In the end, the ginger got a really cool view just before his head went bye-bye. He looked back to see how close Kylo was to him, then screamed to see Kylo, in all his vengeful epicness, right behind him. Then _off_ went his head, via Kylo’s fire sword! The rest of the body fell off the orangish-brown horse, who bolted away. Kylo ignored it and dismounted Niney.

He picked up the now-disembodied head, then put it on his own neck stump, where his own head would otherwise sit. Sure enough, the slender head didn’t fit, _thank goodness_ ; so Kylo breathed in relief, shrugged, and carelessly tossed it over his shoulder. Then he remounted Niney and they made their way back to the scene of the first kill.

When Kylo hopped off the horse, he approached Mitaka’s lifeless body and severed its head with his sword. He tried it on for size and, of course, _nada_. As expected, Kylo was still as headless as ever.

He sighed as well as his headless body could and aimed Mitaka’s head at a tree. Then he threw with all his might and the head hit and bounced off the bark. _Score!_ After all these years, he never missed.

He’d long since given up hope that the curse would actually be broken. His own head was nowhere to be found, and every other head seemed determined not to fit. And even if the curse _was_ broken, how much good would it do him now? All of his relatives were long dead, and most of them had been douches anyway ( _looking at you, Uncle Luke!_ ) He had no friends. Let’s face it: He really wouldn’t know what to do with himself.

An image of a certain brunette banshee suddenly popped into his _head_ (haha).

Kylo walked to Niney and petted the horse’s dark coat. Thoughts about breaking the curse always seemed to pop up images of the feisty little banshee who hated his guts. She was eye-poppingly beautiful—long hair, slim figure, snow-white gown, silver-gray cloak. And she _screamed_ like an angel.

Was screaming like an angel a thing? As far as Kylo was concerned, it was.

Kylo always knew when she was the banshee who was screaming at any given moment. There were other banshees, of course, but none of them had Rey’s smashing vocal power. She must have been magnificent when she was human—strong, driven.

Hard headed.

Granted, Kylo could understand why she hated him. He _caused_ death; she _heralded_ death. Did he like his curse? Of course not. Did she like her curse? Of course not.

Did curses ever make any actual sense? _Frack, no!_

He’d heard Rey scream a couple of nights ago. He hated to do that to her; but at least he’d killed only _one_ of the two victims, not _both_ , thank you very much! The ginger irritant was responsible for one of Rey’s screams. For that alone, he deserved to die; so there!

Besides, it was all _Snoke’s_ fault Kylo was in this predicament. Kylo, back when he was known as Ben Solo, had always been an . . . emotional kid, to say the least. His mother had been an heiress who’d been horny for and run away with a smuggler. Thus her family wouldn’t acknowledge the marriage or Ben, which threw a wrench into Ben’s parents’ marriage and caused them to fuss and fight all the time.

So Ben’s mother sent him to his Uncle Luke, hoping to make peace with her family; but that son of a rancor tried to kill Ben in his sleep for being an ‘embarrassment’ to the family. It had _not_ been fun to wake up in the middle of the night to see Luke stand over him with a sword and a ‘You’re dead meat!’ scowl. Ben just barely managed to get a hold of his own sword and drive it through Luke’s chest before Luke could succeed.

Then Ben ran away and met an overly tall, skinny man with a bald head and a massive gash on his face. Serkis Snoke was a general, under the command of King Palpatine. Snoke convinced Ben to join the army, telling him he had the makings of a great fighter; and since Ben had nowhere else to go anyway, he agreed. Thus Ben Solo was gone, and Kylo Ren was officially in the house!

And apparently, Kylo truly _did_ have a mega talent for battle. He was a top-notch soldier and, in a ridiculously short time, was knighted as a Knight of Ren, joining Palpatine’s _elite_ fighting force. Then, in no time flat, he was made _master_ of the Knights. He had it made in the shade!

Until some lucky devil slung a sword at Kylo’s head during a battle and just happened to have really good aim and a really sharp sword.

Needless to say, when Kylo’s head sailed away, Snoke and Palpatine were _not_ happy. Their star player was now kaput.

But as it turned out, Snoke was a wannabe-sorcerer on the side, who'd been dabbling in magic, because why not? So he made up a spell and went to Palpatine, asking permission to try it on Kylo. The hope was to cast a spell to resurrect Kylo as a head-thirsty killing machine to behead Palpatine's enemies. Palpatine gave Snoke the go-ahead—because, again, why not?

Unfortunately, the spell was a major blow and Snoke ended up resurrecting Kylo, not as a wraith who beheaded Palpatine's enemies, but as a wraith who beheaded literally _anyone_ with a head—including Snoke himself, who was actually Kylo's first victim.

Obviously, everyone _panicked_! Palpatine hired a few more sorcerers to try to fix Snoke's goof. They threw every idea they could at the wall and ended up deciding on a spell that would trap Kylo in Takodana Forest, the site of his beheading. Then they attached the spell to the full moon, because of course they did; sorcerers and spells always seemed to have serious full moon fetishes.

They couldn’t remove Kylo’s Snoke-given demand for heads; but hopefully, trapping Kylo in the forest and limiting when he rode would help a bit. So they gathered in Takodana Forest one full moon to cast the spell. Much to their delight, Kylo appeared, just as they’d intended; and they celebrated their success.

Unfortunately, in their celebrating, they kind of forgot that they were currently with Kylo, in the forest in which they’d now trapped him, during a full-moon night. So Kylo ended up cutting off their heads, killing them all.

After that fiasco, Palpatine decided that sorcery was for the porgs and outlawed it, getting rid of all sorcerers in the kingdom, much to the relief of pretty much _everyone else_ in the kingdom.

It was a bummer that cutting off heads killed people, or Kylo wouldn’t have a problem. He hadn’t been cursed by Snoke to _kill_ ; he’d been cursed to _remove heads_. If he could just pop off a head without the whole _killing_ part, everything would be hunky-dory.

And that was where _breaking_ the curse came into play. If he wanted to break the curse himself, he had to either find and restore his own head, or find another head that fit. Both of those options were pretty tricky to make work, since he was bound to Takodana Forest and couldn’t go anywhere else.

Then there was another option . . . but for that, he needed help.

As a rule, there were two fetishes to which sorcerers just couldn’t stop wanking off: the full moon and true love’s kiss. And sure, true love’s kiss could break any and every curse, but it’s cricking hard to kiss without lips. And it’s _really_ cricking hard to have lips without a head. So true love’s kiss did Kylo absolutely no good if he couldn’t find a head.

And even then, there was the matter of the ‘true love’ part. Who in the galaxy could, or would, love him? Granted, he occasionally had psycho fangirls ‘offer’ themselves to him during full moons, because losing their heads was so bloody ‘romantic’ apparently. But, obviously, those girls always ended up dead, which made dating kind of hopeless.

If there _was_ a ‘true love’ out there for him, she’d have to be someone he couldn’t kill.

_Again, an image of a certain bewitching banshee emerged in his mind._

But no, it couldn’t be she. Banshees didn’t get happy endings, anymore than killer phantoms did. Spell breaking among spirit soulmates—also known as _Dyads_ —was so rare the thought was almost laughable. It was much more common for spells to be broken when one of the two soulmates was a living human.

But oh, if he had his own choice of soulmate . . . .

Nah, whom was he kidding? She’d never go for him. Oh, well. Maybe the Grim Reaper had a sister or something.

Kylo gasped when, suddenly, the alluring object of his depressing thoughts appeared before him in all her furious glory, glaring at him with a “Murderous snake!”


	2. Crazy Idea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots and lots of thanks to all of you beauties who’ve left comments and kudos; they’ve been priceless! 😽💋

Rey was seething, glancing from the decapitated body lying on the ground beside her, to the bozo who’d done him in. It had been some time since she’d last seen him, and she was absolutely furious to see that he still looked so . . . _not_ unappealing in all that black. At least he could have the decency to gain a few hundred pounds, make a girl less shivery.

He stood frozen for a moment, obviously shocked to see her. Then he started to shuffle his feet a bit, his arms behind his back. Rey could swear he seemed almost _shy_ or something, as if he’d be pink right now if he had a head. But that didn’t make sense. Why would this wanker be shy around her?

_“Oh, hi, Rey. What are you up to?”_ he signed to her with his gloved hands.

She crossed her arms. “I’d ask you the same thing, but I think the answer’s pretty obvious.”

Kylo shrugged sheepishly. _“Yeah, sorry about your screaming.”_

“Twice!” Rey exclaimed, holding up two fingers and taking several angry steps forward. “Screaming _twice_ , thanks to you.”

Kylo wagged a finger adamantly, then went back to signing. _“No, no, that’s not true. I killed only_ one _of them.”_

Rey scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, right.”

_“It’s_ true _,”_ he insisted. _“There were two guys—that one right there and a ginger. The ginger killed him, and I killed the ginger.”_

Rey gestured to the body behind her. “If you didn’t kill him, why isn’t his head on his body?”

_“Because I cut it off after he was dead.”_

“That doesn’t make any sense.” she said doubtfully. “You’re cursed to kill; you would have gotten to him before the ginger did.”

_“Actually, my curse is just to_ remove heads _. It doesn’t matter who does the actual_ killing _.”_

She blinked in surprise. “That’s just stupid.”

_“I know,”_ he agreed with a sigh of irritation. _”Snoke wasn’t the shrewdest porg in the coop.”_

Rey rolled her eyes. “Well, either way, I’m tired of your bantha poodoo!” she spat, approaching his large form and standing less than a foot away from him. She madly poked his chest with a finger, trying to ignore how much his size made her feel itty bitty. “Screaming bloody well hurts, you rabid cur. You’re going to _pay_ for what you did!”

He huffed what sounded to Rey like a chuckle. _“I’m dead, but you still want to kill me.”_

“That happens when people are being hunted by a creature without a head. You’re a _monster_.”

He seemed to study her for a moment, before reaching up and gently brushing a stray hair from her face, causing Rey to blink. _“Yes, I am.”_

Rey stood dumbly, taken aback, before giving herself a mental _kick_ in the butt and swatting Kylo’s hands like flies. Force, what was wrong with her? She needed to get it together; this laser brain was _not_ going to throw her off her game!

“You and that blasted saber of yours have been thorns in my side for long enough. I won’t stand for it anymore.”

He shrugged. _“You know, you could always_ pass _your curse to someone else. Then you’d be free.”_

Rey shook her head in horror. “No, I’d _never_ do such a thing!”

And it was true: She’d never been willing to doom someone else to her fate. Briefly, she thought back to that dunderheaded mistake she’d made so long ago. She’d been a lowly scavenger then, stealing and collecting junk for that slimy piece of worm-ridden filth, Unkar Plutt, who’d bought her from her booze-happy parents when she was a kid.

One night, she’d been scavenging in the forest and had come across a pretty, silvery-blue comb lying on the ground, all alone. Of course, she’d heard of the unwritten _‘Do NOT pick up a stray comb if you know what’s good for you’_ rule; but she was so _hungry_ , and the comb was bound to earn her a bit more soup from Plutt. So her stomach controlled her hand, and she picked up the comb. 

Then she almost jumped out of her skin when some ghostly hag suddenly popped up out of nowhere. “It’s about time!” the hag cheered triumphantly. “The job is yours now, _sucker_!” Then, cockily sticking her tongue out at Rey and giving her _the finger_ with both hands, the woman vanished. The next thing Rey knew, she was wearing a white gown and a gray cloak, and a _crazy-loud_ scream was being ripped from her voice box.

The memory made her want to throw up. Nope, never would she act like that rotten skank and condemn someone else to this lousy existence. She may be a feared harbinger of death, but she wasn’t _rude_.

She shivered. “Not going to happen.”

_“I know; that’s one of the things I like about you.”_

“What?”

_“What?”_

Rey’s eyes went wide in surprise. What did he just say? Did he just say he _liked_ something about her? And he seemed to be as surprised as she was by his own words, because his hands started to stutter all over themselves.

_“I mean, I . . . I just think it’s kind of, um, nice that you’re, well . . ._ not _like some of these other spirit pricks. They can be jerks.”_

Rey looked away, feeling her cheeks heat. Was he trying to _compliment_ her? If he was, she had no idea what to make of it. She was tempted to point out that, technically, _he_ was one of those ‘spirit pricks’; but he seemed so awkward that her mouth ended up saying, “Uh, thanks? I guess?”

😱💀

Kylo had never felt so sheepish in his entire afterlife. First, he’d touched her face—what the heck had possessed him to do that?—then he’d admitted to liking her. Or, rather, to liking _some things_ about her. Why did his hands have such a big mouth when she was near? It was a good thing he didn’t see her often, or he’d _really_ make himself look like a knucklehead. 

_“You’re welcome.”_ That was safe to sign, right? When in doubt, just stick to polite manners (never let it be said he’d never listened to his mother’s lessons, no matter how yawn-inducing they’d been). 

For a moment, Rey’s expression was unreadable; then she shook her head like she was snapping herself out of something and the stink eye returned. “Anyway, as I was saying, I’m tired of dealing with a stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf herder," she said, poking his chest several more times. "This Sithspit has gone on too long; and if it goes on much longer, I’ll end up losing _my_ head. Then I’m going to take that sword of yours and shove it right up your— _What is so funny_?!” 

He waved his hands in apology. He hadn’t meant to chuckle, but he couldn’t help himself; she was so bloody _cute_ when she was insulting him. 

_“I’m sorry,”_ he signed, trying to get a grip. _“It’s just your eyes. You have that_ look _in your eyes, from a moment ago. You called me a monster.”_

“You _are_ a monster,” she said irritably, putting her hands on her hips. “We’ve already established that. Now the question is, what to do about it?" 

_“I really don’t know. I’d find my head if I could, but I'm kinda stuck here in the forest.”_

"What _else_ have you done to try to break the curse? Have you ever thought about, I don’t know . . . _building_ a head for yourself, or something like that?” 

Kylo huffed. _“Actually, yeah. Ages ago, I tried a couple of times to carve heads out of wood with my fire saber, but they just fell off my neck stump. And I wasn’t surprised. This is a curse, after all; it couldn’t be that easy.”_

“Then could you maybe _borrow_ a head? Attach yourself to someone like a symbiote and use the person's head when you need it?” 

_“Like a possession? No, I can’t join with humans; again, I’d just behead them.”_

Rey started to pace. Kylo could practically see the podrace of thoughts zooming through her mind, and he was getting a kick out of it. “Do you have any idea, at all, where your dratted head could be? What happened to it after you first lost it?” 

_“Snoke took it for his magic experiments to bring me back.”_

“Did anyone have it after Snoke? What about the lamebrains who trapped you here in the forest?” 

_“No, it disappeared after Snoke’s screw up. That’s why the sorcerers had to stick me here; if they’d had my head, they would have just given it back to me to end Snoke’s curse.”_

“So it disappeared between Snoke’s curse and the second one?” 

_“Yep,”_ he confirmed, _“and that isn’t surprising. I . . . I was kinda sorta out of control when I was resurrected.”_ More like cray-cray out of control, but moving on. _“I decapitated lots of people, including Snoke. It would have been easy for my head to get lost in the mix.”_

He was afraid Rey would flip out over all that; but she kept going, still in the zone, her mind working like a bacta patch on a boo-boo. “Where did Snoke cast his curse?” 

_“In his house. He had a room he used to play with magic, but the house is long gone.”_

“So, in other words, many, many, _many_ years later, _if_ your head still exists, it could be _anywhere_ —buried in the ground; forgotten in a dump; sitting on some Goth kid’s dresser. Truly anywhere.” 

_“Pretty much.”_

She groaned and facepalmed, twiddling her fingers against her forehead, as if that would help her think better. “We would have no idea where to start searching. It’s been too long.” 

_“‘We’?”_ he asked in surprise. _“What do you mean ‘we’?”_

“I mean that you obviously can’t finish this alone, so something’s gotta change or we’ll never get out of this.” 

Was he about to get _help_ from her? She was quiet for several moments, thinking and studying him. He’d give anything to know what was going on in that thinky mind of hers. When he finally found out, he couldn’t believe what came out of her mouth. 

“I still wonder about the build-a-head idea.” 

_“Rey, we’re dealing with a_ magical curse _; how could we possibly_ build _a head to break it?”_

“Shut up and lean down,” she commanded, grabbing his shoulders and pulling with surprising strength, making him hunch over. She checked out the headless stump of his neck, measuring it between two fingers. “Force, your neck is _thick_.” 

Was there a slight _hitch_ in Rey’s breath when she said that? Kylo couldn’t be sure; he was too distracted by the fact that she was actually touching him. Granted, this hardly counted as a touch, but shut up; he’d take it. 

She hummed, running her fingers over the top of his stump to find it nice and smooth. Then she formed a fist and repeatedly _pounded_ on it with all her might, like a hammer hitting a nail. “Does that hurt?” she asked. 

Kylo was very relieved to be able to report, _“No. But couldn’t you have warned me beforehand?”_

“Hush! Let me think.” 

Rey continued to poke and prod him. He wasn’t sure how this crazy idea could possibly go anywhere, but he was more than happy to let her do anything she wanted as long as his bent-over form was still pointed at her gown-covered chest. Her pretty titties were _right there_ , teeny-weeny but perky. Thank kriff he didn’t have a head; the last thing he wanted was to be caught drooling. 

He barely stopped himself from whining pathetically in protest when Rey said “Don’t move” and walked away. Then his disappointment turned to surprise when she bent down and casually picked up Mitaka’s head, bringing it over to him. 

“Let’s see here,” she murmured, placing the head on Kylo’s neck. She whistled as she eyed the difference. “No wonder you’re not finding heads that fit; your neck is huge.” 

It was true. Courtesy of his dad’s side of the family, he’d always been a ginormous man—freakishly tall and burly. _“Yeah, I’ve always been kind of a giant,”_ he signed. 

Rey cleared her throat. “I can see that,” she said, her voice a touch breathy. Before he could wonder about her breathiness, she continued with, “Hold the head in place for me for a minute.” 

He took the head from her, keeping it in position as she walked around to his back. She reached up and pushed down hard on his shoulders with a “Squat.” Kylo bent his knees like a good boy, feeling like a pot of soup being fiddled with by a cook trying to figure out how to make it taste just right. 

“Mhm,” he heard her hum, feeling her pull on the back of his uniform’s neck. “This is going to be tricky.” She walked around to his front, then took the head from him and looked more closely at it. “I’ll have to think over everything and bring supplies next month.” 

The idea of seeing Rey next month made Kylo’s heart do the Corellian Cheek-Step dance, but he was still worried about her. He didn’t want her to be too bummed if this cuckoo scheme didn’t work. _“Rey, are you sure about this? This is not going to go the way you think.”_

“Do you have a better idea? If you do, I’m all ears. But since only one of us would be able to leave the forest to look for your head—which could be _anywhere_ —it might take a very, very, very long time to find; and I think we can agree it’s already been long enough.” 

She was right, of course. And even as he considered the idea, he realized that being her guinea pig had a _very_ juicy perk: He’d get to be around her. Up close and personal. Getting touched by her, even if only in sciency, experimenty ways. 

The _sane_ part of him threw up red flags out the wazoo, warning him it would be downright _torture_ to have her hands on him while keeping his hands off her; but a much louder—and _lower_ —part didn’t cricking care. 

_“You’re right: it’s worth a shot,”_ he signed, trying not to show his giddiness. _“I want to be free of this pain. Will you help me?”_ He offered her a gloved hand. 

Rey shared at his hand, then glanced up at him with a look he wasn’t sure how to interpret. He started to worry she’d changed her mind, but she took his hand and gave it a couple of firm shakes with her little, feminine one; in that moment, Kylo wanted to _kick_ himself for stupidly not taking his glove off first. 

“We’ll give it a try,” she agreed. “If we can pull it off, it’ll free _both_ of us. I’ll try to think of what supplies we’ll need.” She looked beyond him, at Niney, giving the horse a quick wave. Weird: Kylo had _completely_ forgotten about the horse until just now; it was almost scary that Rey could hog that much of his attention. 

With a nod at Kylo and a “See you in a month,” Rey vanished. Kylo let out a long sigh and stared at the spot she’d just vacated. Then he looked down at his crotch, grateful that the thickness and inky blackness of his uniform made his blazing hard-on tricky to notice unless you were looking for it. 

_“You better behave yourself next month,”_ Kylo signed threateningly at his willy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, never let it be said Rey doesn’t think outside the box. 🤣


	3. Rey's Playtime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let’s see what ideas Rey has up her sleeve! 😁

Kylo paced like his life depended on it, trying—and failing miserably—to keep cool. He was so excited to see Rey again he felt like a giddy school girl waiting for her new sweetheart. Not that he and Rey were dating, of course; but he could dream, couldn’t he?

He was thrilled when he didn’t hear her scream a couple of nights ago. That should mean nobody was going to show up in the forest tonight and interrupt their . . . whatever this was. _Rey’s Playtime_ is what he’d been calling it.

At least he didn’t have to worry about making his hair perfect. Or checking his breath. Or freaking out over a pimple. Or getting caught staring. Hmm, maybe this headless business wasn’t so bad after all.

Except it was. There were way too many _enjoyable_ uses for heads. Especially lips. And teeth. And tongues. Nope, this curse needed to be broken, darn it!

And in the meantime, he could simply enjoy Rey’s company and hope she didn’t do anything too bonkers. He’d already told Niney to just stand around calmly and be a good boy, no matter what Rey did. Which probably hadn’t been necessary—Niney looked uber-spooky, with his glowing red eyes and hulking build; but he was kind of a big teddy bear. Even when he was chasing someone down, he wasn’t doing anything but running; _Kylo_ was the one actually being dangerous.

He hoped she liked the waska berries he’d picked for her a few minutes ago. It was the least he could do since she was trying to help him. Or, rather, trying to stop his head-happy self from killing anyone, but close enough.

Unless she thought it was weird that he’d picked them for her. Was that weird? He didn’t think so. He was only being gracious, after all, right? But what if she was allergic to waska berries? He’d never asked her if she had allergies. Oh, no! Had he made a mistake? What had he done?!

“Here we go!” he suddenly heard from behind him.

He _barely_ avoided crushing the berries in his hands as he jumped like a scaredy-cat and spun to see Rey, with a bunch of stuff in her arms. She dumped the stuff onto the ground, making a loud _crashing_ sound; then she vanished, only to reappear with even _more_ stuff. Kylo was struck dumb as he stared at the pile. What in the galaxy was she planning to do with all of those doodads? And where did she even _get_ them?

“We have a busy night ahead of us,” Rey said. “I’ve done a lot of thinking over the past month, and I have a few ideas we could try. I don’t know if they’ll work, but I’m thinking the mechanics could—Are those for me?” she asked when she saw the berries Kylo was cradling in his hands.

 _Dang it_ , she’d noticed! And she was probably allergic to them, wasn’t she? She was going to think he was a nincompoop. Unless he told her they were for _him_. That should do the trick. But wait: He didn’t have a head; he couldn’t eat. Force take it! What else could he do? _Uhhhhh_ , he could give them to _Niney_. Perfect. He’d just say they—

“I love waska berries.”

She did? _Phew!!_ He knew this was a great idea; he’d never doubted for a second. He was a genius, after all; every day, his inspired ideas astonished him more and more.

Carefully, he passed the little berries to Rey, puffing his chest. _“You’re my guest,”_ he signed when his hands were free. _“So I thought you needed some berries."_

“Thanks,” she said, popping all of them into her mouth at once. She closed her eyes and let out one long _moan_ as she tasted their yummy yumminess—causing Kylo’s, uh, _other head_ to suddenly twitch with interest. And that twitching turned into weeping when Rey wiped a drop of juice from the corner of her mouth and licked it off her finger. It was all Kylo could do not to drop to his knees and _beg_ her for sweet, sweet mercy.

He couldn’t have been more relieved when she finished and turned her attention back to her pile of thingamabobs. Yes, that was good. Work. Think about work.

 _“Where did all that come from?”_ he asked, making sure his hands were in front of his chest and nowhere near the area that still hadn’t quite recovered from that way-too-entertaining show.

“I borrowed it.” Based on the way Rey’s cheeks were now pinkening, Kylo had no doubt that ‘borrowed’ meant ‘without asking’.

_“From where?”_

She looked away. “Oh, you know: Here and there."

He huffed a chuckle. Even as a banshee, Rey was ever the little scavenger. Then his amusement turned to shock when she grabbed a small sack and dumped several skulls onto the ground.

_“Where the druk did you get those?”_

“I searched around, saw what I could find," she said casually. “I found a couple in a cemetery, a few in a prison, one in someone’s backyard.”

 _“What? How did you manage to find a_ head _in someone’s yard?”_

She shrugged. “I was looking for supplies and just happened to see it; thought it was worth a shot to see if it fit. Don’t worry: If it doesn’t, I’ll put it back later.”

Kylo had no idea what to say to that; so he kept his mouth—um, _hands_ —quiet.

“Here,” she said. “Try them on.”

Kylo couldn’t help feeling kind of excited as Rey held one skull after another against his neck stump. How awesome would it be if Rey, on her first try, had found his missing piece! But, of course, nothing happened. Zip, zilch, nana, no dice.

“Well, shoot,” Rey muttered, carelessly dropping the skulls back into their sack. “I guess you wear an XXL.”

Kylo shrugged. He was a _tad_ disappointed, but at least there was a bright side: He got some more hang time with his little scavenger.

😱💀

Rey gestured to the ground with a “Sit” command, then walked back to her collection. She could still taste the waska berries; they’d been _delish_! She wasn’t sure why Kylo had given them to her; she hadn’t thought the schmuck was the type to do something nice just because. Maybe it was just a sneaky ploy to get on her good side? 

And heck if it hadn’t worked. Food had always been her kryptonite. 

Opening the tackle box she’d borrowed without asking from some random house, she took a couple of breaths. She could do this. She’d been prepping herself all month. Nothing to it, really. Just play around, see if anything worked. 

After all, it would be easy-peasy to ignore the shivers she did _not_ get whenever she was around Kylo. And yeah, sure she’d be getting hands-on with him; but that just came with experimenting, right? Rey was all for getting handsy . . . for _science_ , of course. 

Grabbing a hammer and a nail from the box, she walked over to where Kylo was sitting and knelt between his legs. As she held up her prizes, he leaned away from her like she had cooties. 

_“What . . . what are those for?”_

What kind of a stupid question was that? “If we build you a head, we have to have a way to attach it to you. _Duh_!” 

_“But we haven’t made me a head yet.”_

“We’re trying to decide what _kind_ of head to make; for that, we need to know what options we have to attach it. Now stop acting like a porg at a barbeque.” She leaned forward and touched the pointy end of the nail to his neck stump. “Does that hurt?” 

_“No.”_

She started to gently poke the stump, here and there, with the nail. “Anything?” 

_“I don’t feel anything at all.”_

In that case, it was time to up the game. She carefully tapped the nail with the hammer, then _banged_ on the nail more and more heatedly. _Nothing_ was happening. So much of nothing, in fact, that the nail wouldn’t even make a _hole_ in the stump. 

“Get in there, you son of a Hutt!” Rey yelled at the nail. 

She felt Kylo grab her wrists, trying to stop her hammering; but when he did, her energy threw them off balance, knocking them to the ground. With a _yelp_ , she ended up on top of him, their hands between their chests. 

Well, nuts. If she’d thought he was big before, she sure as _crink_ felt dinky now, lying on him. His chest and arms were firm and muscly; he could probably throw her around like a rathtar in a ball pit. She could swear she felt his body heat through his uniform, even though, as a ghost, he didn’t have any. And was that his fire sword pressing against her hip, or was he just happy to see her? 

Like, seriously, _what was_ that thing? 

She didn’t have time to find out, because Kylo grabbed her hips and pretty much tossed her off him before standing and turning his back to her.

😱💀

**_Calm down! Keep cool, man. Deep, deep breaths. Relax. Everything’s all right. You will_ not _cum in your pants, okay? You will NOT!_**

Holy Sith, that had been a close one. It’d been bad enough to have her _jugs_ in his face when she’d tried to hammer that nail into his stump; he’d wanted very badly to both _hammer_ and _nail_ something in that moment, just not his _stump_. But to have her lying on top of him, her freckled face looking down at him and her hip against his wang, had been way too much. Now he had to calm down before Rey realized something was, erm, _up_. 

He’d known this whole thing was a gosh-awful idea. He should tell her he’d changed his mind and decided to keep his headlessness. But would she buy it? Nope! No way, no how. And even if she did, _she_ was dead-set on ending it either way. And oh, how he _loved_ that about her—her determination, her spunky pluck. 

_No_ , stop that! Stop thinking about what was great about her. If he was to have any hope of de-horning, he needed to think about something, _anything_ , besides her—Uncle Luke, Snoke in a gold bathrobe, Niney getting it on with a pegasis. 

“Well, fark,” he heard Rey cuss behind him. “Nails clearly won’t work. Time for Plan B.” 

Then Rey suddenly grabbed his hand and started to drag him after her, her other hand holding what looked like a little bottle and a big silver spoon. He thought about protesting but decided to just go along with it; hopefully, he could get back into work mode and de-escalate his _situation_. 

She led him to a uneti tree and pointed at a spot on the bark. “Cut a hole right there with your saber,” she instructed. “We need sap.” 

Ah, _now_ Kylo knew what she was up to! Uneti sap was commonly used as an adhesive; Rey wanted to see if she could _glue_ a head onto him.

😱💀

_"How do you plan to get this sticky stuff off me if this works?”_ Kylo asked her. 

Rey proudly held up the little bottle she was holding. “I brought some wroshyr oil. We’ll put a little bit of sap on your stump to see if it sticks; and if it does, we’ll use the oil to get rid of it.” 

Kylo gave a _thumbs up_ , then ignited his saber. Like every other time she’d seen it, Rey was in _awe_ of its awesome fireness; maybe she’d ask Kylo to let her play with it one day. He pointed the business end of the saber at the tree, pushing it forward to make a hole in the bark. She knew they didn’t have to worry about starting a forest fire; the supernatural fire of the saber just cut through any and everything—hence why people were so easily de-headified with it. 

Since uneti sap didn't stick to silver, she quickly stuck the silver spoon under the hole to catch the sap leaking from the tree. “Sit down, keep your stump level, and don’t move,” she said. Then she got between his legs and carefully poured a few drops of sap onto the stump. If this worked, they should dry within a minute or so. 

She counted down from 60 in her mind, keeping an eye on the drops. But they weren’t changing. They should be losing their pretty shininess and turning dull and boring; what was their problem? She even added a few more seconds to the countdown and _still_ they were as glossy as ever. So she tapped them with the bottom of the spoon and, sure enough, they were liquidy. Nothing had happened. 

“Porg poo!” she spat, slapping the spoon against the ground. “It didn’t work. Two ideas down." 

_“How many do you have?”_

“Oh, I still have several. I think next, we’ll—” 

She was suddenly cut off when she threw her head back and let out a rowdy _scream_. As usual, she threw her hands over her ears, her eyes clamped shut. _Seriously?_ She was getting called into work _now_? And right in front of Kylo, too. Rey hated it when anyone saw her let it rip; it was creepy as all get-out and bloody _loud_. Kylo was probably wetting himself right about— 

Her wail was suddenly muffled by something bulky. With her eyes closed, she had no idea what it was; but when the shriek finally finished blowing over, she opened her eyes and realized it was Kylo’s chest. Apparently, Kylo had thrown his arms around her in a bearhug—one hand on her lower-back, the other on the back of her head. 

Well, she hadn’t seen _this_ coming. She’d figured he’d bolt like a gungan being chased by one of those butt-ugly opee sea killer fish. But instead, he tried to . . . _comfort_ her? 

She gave herself a minute to chill and catch her breath. And enjoy the feeling of his strong arms around her for just a _wee_ bit longer. Because there was nothing weird about that, right? It wasn’t as if it meant anything? Nah, of course not. It was totally innocent and meaningless for her to nuzzle him and give a tiny _purr_ of relief that, for once, she hadn’t had to deal with a scream all alone.

😱💀

His poor little sweetheart. No wonder she was so grumpy. There was a _humongous_ difference between hearing her screech from a distance and actually being there for it. _This_ was what his curse had been doing to her? Well, that sucked balls; he’d hate his guts, too, if he were she. 

Instinct had made him grab her. He just couldn’t sit there like a helpless goofball while she hurt. And to his shock, she hadn’t pushed him away; in fact, she’d kind of burrowed against his chest like a loth-kitten. He’d be lying if he said his dead heart hadn’t done a little flitter-flutter. 

When she finally pulled back to look at him, he brushed her hair from her tear-stained face. _“Are you okay?”_ he asked. 

She nodded. “Yeah. Thanks.” 

He gave her a quick once-over to make sure she truly _was_ , then stood up and offered her a hand, pulling her to her feet. She leaned down to pick up the wroshyr bottle and the silver spoon. “I brought a jar of Crait red soil to make ruby clay,” she said. “We’ll grab it and a few other things and head over to the forest lake.” 

_“Sounds good. We’ll use Niney to get there.”_

When she picked out her chosen items, including one of the skulls from her skull sack, he put them in Niney’s saddle rucksacks and hoisted Rey onto the gigantic-but-lovable beast. Then he hopped aboard, sitting right behind Rey and immediately regretting it. Farkity fark, she was _right_ in front of him now, her juicy caboose against his schlong. She didn’t notice, did she? What if she got peeved and left? Oh, _why_ hadn’t he been smart enough to sit up front? 

While Kylo’s mind kept thinking up new reasons to panic, Rey grabbed the reins and gave them a _pop_. “Go, boy,” she said, and off Niney went. 

Well, apparently, Rey could drive his horse, too. Just add that to the way-too-long list of things Kylo found smoking-hot about her. Not that it was surprising. I mean, let’s be real: Kylo really couldn’t blame Niney for happily going wherever Rey pointed him.

😱💀

Cool, she was getting to ride Niney! It wasn’t exactly the most _comfortable_ feeling in the world—she was having to spread her legs _really_ wide to straddle him—but it was still fun to feel so high up. 

What wasn’t so fun was having Kylo right behind her. Those toned legs of his were dangling behind hers; and for some odd reason, she suddenly had a whopping urge to ‘accidentally’ grab his thigh. What was wrong with her? 

She half-wished he’d wrap his arms around her waist—for _stability_ , of course—but he didn’t touch her. He was gripping his trousers with both hands like his life depended on it, just sitting behind her in all his big, macho glory. And don’t even get her started on what she suspected was currently pushing against her back side! The sooner this ride ended, the better. 

And Rey was definitely _not_ disappointed when it did, nor was she bummed when Kylo’s _manly_ body was no longer behind hers. And when he reached up to help her down, she in no way, shape, or form enjoyed the way her nipples that were swollen and puffy for no reason at all felt when they briefly slid against his chest. 

When the kriffing heck would this night end?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you feel the love tonight? 😋

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! This is going to be a new experience for me. I've never started a WIP before; hopefully, I won't end up hating myself for starting one now. 😹 I can't say for sure when updates will be, but expect the next chapter sometime next week. I'm writing the fic as quickly as I can, and I don't expect it to be too long—probably a few chapters. So make sure to subscribe if you'd like updates. Have a brilliant day! 😽😽


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